You know how there are five stages of grief? And for some people, they take longer at each stage to process and move forward? Well, I’ve convinced myself that there are five similar stages for each person going through a Crossfit WOD, particularly the really daunting difficult ones (Nutts and Murph, I’m looking at YOU).
1) Kickassery – Where you look at the WOD on the board and think to yourself “YES, I AM GOING TO KICK THIS WOD’s ASS” so you fly out of the gate at a million miles an hour and hit it hard. This phase can also be accompanied by NervousTummy and the IShouldProbablyPeeBeforeWeGetThisPartyStarted.
2) Acceptance – About one round in or minute 3 of a 20 minute AMRAP, you realize that yes, this does suck and no, there’s nothing you can do about it.
3) Hopelessness – WILL IT EVER END? Oh my god, I’m only on the second round of a five-round WOD and that guy is already done and I’m gonna cry and THERE IS NO HOPE KILL ME NOW AND BURY ME IN A WALLBALL-CUSHIONED GRAVE.
4) Second wind – Near the end when you can feel that the end is near and you think that if you survived three rounds, then surely you can handle two more.
5) Kickassery – It comes full circle when you lay panting on the floor in a giant sweat “man stamp” knowing you finished. You give high-fives, you cheer someone else on, you commiserate, but you’re proud. Because no matter what, you finished.